Get it? hahaha I was proud of the title with this one.. ahahah anyway….
You always hear that saying “Walk a mile in my shoes” (and maybe you’ll understand….)
I have never fully been one to not try and understand where others come from, and it is hard to do so because we are all so different. Well, today i want to speak on two things… giving NOT to receive, and putting yourself in ones shoes.
As hard as i try, i am definitely guilty for giving to receive. I am big on wanting others love and appreciation and respect and getting gold stars. However, what i have learned through my short years of studying this type of thing, GIVING is only GIVING when you are not EXPECTING anything in return. Which is a hard concept to grasp when we are taught to “treat others the way WE want to be treated”. Right there in the saying is a selfish think about yourself.
Examples: If I give my friend a ride, i would hope for the same in return in the future. If I open the door for someone they will say thank you. If I compliment her on her dress, she will compliment me back. etc. etc. etc….
What happens deep down, subconsciously, when we give to receive, even though we are giving, our real reasons are selfish. Therefore, it cancels out the GIVING aspect and we are really taking.
You hear a lot: “Give to charity! You can deduct it on your taxes!”
Oh, so we aren’t giving to give.. we are giving to get? Im not judging.. I do it every year! I donate to goodwill so I can deduct from my taxes.. dang.. I am just as guilty!
So here is where the walk in my shoes ties in.
I have always been a little interested in the “tipping” business in regards to waitressing, valet, hotels, etc. Now I have never been in those positions. My thought process has been a little closed minded. IF they give good service, I think i am SUPPOSED to tip. and tip well. It is REQUIRED of me to tip right? Or that makes me a bad person if i don’t? I mean, my phone has a tip % app on it for a reason…
I surely don’t know what their salaries or hourly wages are, and who am i to even care?
Now that I am uber and lyft driving, I am experiencing the benefit of tips. For me, with LYFT (where the app offers you the chance to tip your driver) I actually benefit from the tips because they tend (most of the time) to cancel out the LYFT fees i owe. So really I am still making the full amount! It feels nice to see that I don’t owe lyft 20% of my earnings because my riders are tipping me the 20%.
Do I NEED tips? No. Do i think I DESERVE tips? No. Do I appreciate tips? YES. and does it help me to make my $ goal every day quicker? HECK YA!
So here is where the two come together.
Now that I have experienced the benefit of tipping, I am more willing to tip MORE to others after services I am getting. (Nail technicians, waitresses, food delivery runners) So, the other night, I ordered pizza. The total was around $20. GEEZ LOUISE! For one person? My first instinct was to say “HELL naw I ain’t tippin. This is already so expensive! Ok, fine, I’ll give him like $1.. maybe $2.”
Then I remembered myself how nice it feels to get tips. Especially cash tips from Uber riders. (The other day someone gave me $20!!! OMG! I almost cried lol)
I chose to give him $4. Which for me, seemed like a lot. (I don’t make a lot of money.. bare with me lol)
My act of giving, was SIMPLY to GIVE. Not to receive. Not because I wanted him to even say thank you, or to change anyones life. I just wanted to give, because I know how good it can feel to be tipped. I also knew, I could make back that $24 with an extra hour of work with uber the next day.
Here is where giving really does pay off! For some weird reason, when we give NOT to receive, we end up receiving more more more! Kind of a weird way this universe works.
The next day, my 2nd ride of the day, a couple tipped me exactly $4.
I gave a tremendous thank you (especially because with Uber you aren’t supposed to tip, and it was generous.) and smiled to myself knowing that because I gave, I received.
Not sure how this story will sit with you, or if it will inspire you to give (without expectations of receiving). I just felt to need to share this publicly to remind MYSELF of how powerful giving is. And how powerful it is to walk in someones shoes. We can learn a whole bunch.
Love you even though I don’t know you,
Ginger aka GSnaps 🙂
GSnaps Blog 